


Ruinin' Me Completely

by SuddenlySullen



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Oral Fixation, Sexual Dysfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 21:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21063518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuddenlySullen/pseuds/SuddenlySullen
Summary: "Sobriety." Klaus spits the word out like it's dirty. Probably because, to him, it is. His whole body sags once he gets it out."Yeah, what a fuckin asshole I am. I didn't let you kill yourself and everyone else. Fuck me, right?" Diego rolls his eyes."Well the world is saved and I'm still sober and now my dick doesn't work, Gogo."





	Ruinin' Me Completely

Klaus doesn't knock when he barges into Diego's room. He never knocks, but he rarely barges. He sulks; He saunters; He glides. But Klaus hardly ever does something so hard as 'barge'. Diego sits up quickly, throwing his legs off the edge of his bed, thinking something is wrong. 

"You broke my dick," Klaus points at him, his tone accusatory.

Diego's lip curls. "I don't think I've ever touched your dick." 

"It's broken and it's your fault." Klaus crosses the room and is prodding his finger into Diego's chest.

Diego swats his hand away. "Dude, that sucks, but I really don't see what this has to do with me."

"Sobriety." Klaus spits the word out like it's dirty. Probably because, to him, it is. His whole body sags once he gets it out.

"Yeah, what a fuckin asshole I am. I didn't let you kill yourself and everyone else. Fuck me, right?" Diego rolls his eyes. 

"Well the world is saved and I'm still sober and now my dick doesn't work, Gogo." Klaus is whining now. His arms are flailing. The anger seems to have faded to a more desperate pleading. "It's been three months. Nothing works. I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna have to go get high just to be able to get off again."

"And you're telling me because…" It dawns on Diego that Klaus is telling him because he doesn't actually want to get high. Either because he wants to stay sober or because he doesn't want Diego to be disappointed. He'd never say so, but Diego sees what he's doing. "Have you tried just-"

Klaus holds a hand up as he interrupts: "I have tried everything, brother mine."

"Even with other people?" The feeling in Diego's chest when he asks is absolutely not jealousy. He feels bad for his brother, that's all. 

Klaus' jaw drops and he sputters for a few seconds. He looks horrified. "You expect me to subject someone else to my defective equipment? I might not have much shame left, Gogo, but everyone has their limits." 

"I can help," Diego says before the thought has finished processing. "If you want."

"You-" Klaus blinks a few times. "You're my brother?" It's said like a question. Like it's occurred to him that maybe that isn't even an issue even as the words are leaving his mouth. 

"Luther is Allison's brother and that doesn't seem to be stopping them. At least I can't get you pregnant."

Klaus gags. "Okay, okay. I'll do whatever you want, just please never make me think about that again." 

Diego can't help but laugh a little. He reaches up and puts a hand on the back of Klaus' thigh, guiding him to lay down on his bed. For the first time, Diego is glad that Klaus is wearing a skirt because when he lets himself fall back and spreads his legs, Diego can see that he really isn't wearing anything under there. Klaus' legs are soft and, to Diego's surprise, hairless. He runs his hands up the insides of Klaus' thighs just to see him squirm. 

"You're so soft," Diego murmurs into the skin of his calf. 

"If dirty talk was all it was gonna take, I'd have just called a sex line," Klaus huffs. 

"Shut up for once." Diego presses his fingers into Klaus' inner thighs. "I'm trying to help you." 

Klaus rolls his eyes like he's thinking of something sassy, but he keeps it to himself. His legs seem to fall further apart when Diego's fingers curl into him. Diego nudges the skirt up around Klaus' hips and finally gets a good look at him. He's not sure he'd ever have gotten up the courage to actually touch another man if it hadn't been Klaus. But he's here and Klaus is here, soft and waiting for him. Diego thinks maybe the softness is part of the appeal. He drops down to a prone position, mouthing up Klaus' thighs. Klaus' sock feet pet down his sides. He sucks and bites light marks into the pale skin, kissing over them. Klaus doesn't stop squirming and Diego can't help but think about having tied him to a chair in their attic. He smiles against Klaus' skin, licking and sucking the rest of the way to his cock. 

It's easy for Diego to swallow Klaus down. Klaus hisses and groans. Diego is surprised by how much he really likes the way that it feels on his tongue. The soft flesh moves easily under the muscles of his tongue and throat. Diego hums out a soft moan, feeling the growing hardness in his own pants. Klaus arches his back and lets out the most beautiful high pitched whine when Diego swallows around him. Diego's hands move up under Klaus' shirt to rest on his stomach, holding him down with gentle pressure.

One of Klaus’ hands comes down to grab at the back of Diego’s head. When Diego looks up, the other is draped across Klaus’ face so that his eyes are buried in the crook of his elbow. He smiles around Klaus’ dick and rolls his tongue down the velvety underside of him. Klaus whimpers and his legs start to shake. Diego hums, nuzzling into Klaus' pubic hair. 

Diego isn't sure how long he's suckling on Klaus' cock. Time seems to move differently when he's got his head buried between his brother's legs. His eyes fly open when Klaus starts to arch off the beg again, this time with streams of high pitched whining moans falling from his lips. Diego keeps on rolling his tongue over Klaus' cock until both of Klaus' bony hands are pulling him away. He lays his cheek on Klaus' thigh, looking up at the peaceful expression on his face. 

"I don't know what that was," Klaus pants out. "But I think it was better than drugs."

Diego laughs under his breath. "Is it always like that? You know… with guys?"

"No," Klaus starts laughing and shaking his head. "No, no, no. It is never like that."

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore"


End file.
